May 31, 2009

This moment in -Q. : Spirituality


See thats a motherfucka in itself. And a dear friend. With those characteristics draws long relationships and ups and downs.Its not religion im talking. Spirituality.Dealing with my spirit personally and with my Higher power. I dont want to talk about church (which i regularly go); I want to talk about heavenly-mindedness as it relates to me. I think i can do without church.. But as I learn more about the Word, it says that the church was made for us to worship. That some blessings are missed by not gathering(where God is when there is at least two or three in his name- Mathew 18:20) together.However my personal walk, my lone walk with my Father, my one on one- its a long one and a trivial one at that. Being 27, bout to be 28 its a fairly young relationship. Weak, in my eyes, to my standard of what a relationship is. As many in a young relationship I deal with one sidedness alot. I seek help, love, shelter, advice, resolve, absolution.. sometimes all at once, sometimes not. But im always seeking something. I dont always give back, give in. I dont address the relationship nor allow my spirit to be filled with warmth, study or, wisdom as I fight through my daily walk on my own until... Until I cant fight on my own anymore, until I did things my way to the point I cant do, till the point im alone or shut out, until its me and my creator. My Father.

A true Father is a dear freind and dear freinds if they know you truly have a bond stick by you even when you show your ass. Alot. To their face.. Because they know you- sometimes better than you do yourself(in this case, its a little extreme lol). A true father gets to you and reaches you in ways that you will definitely understand so you get it before your trials come before you. A true father shows you love. Yea, guess thats what im saying. But just with any relationship with a child, you go through the nurturing stage where its just supervisement and care.. Then later in age there comes a time where that trust through all that nurturing as a very young child, takes your relationship to another level as you begin to understand the the things you were taught, and more so, what you were shown and walked through. Its that- the adolescence of life where you then become adult in your ways or walk your walk- that of a child. A spiritual child. Many of us in our spirituality walk my walk. And learn lessons harder than than if they walk their righteous path. Like anything else that has to grow you have to feed your spirit. The good and the bad, but to keep it healthy you need prayer and meditation, positivity in a cleansing sense not necessarily religion: song, literature, enriching others especially children and needy.Those things really change you inside. Ask someone who might engage any of those activities.. I dont do those things enough(to my standard) as I should.Some would say I do alot. But only you know your spirit.

I sometimes( glad not to be in that season now) ignore my spirituality and it takes a back seat to everything; to anything.Its funny how people think their at their best when there at their worse or better yet empty- Its like a second wind. You have to go hard or if you stop, your Mothafucka. What I have in my spirit and the relationship with its Provider is irreplaceable and I value it more and more as I get older. The picture isn't getting bigger, im just realizing how big it is. Im really starting to see my self, my spirit. And dont get it twisted, we're like the red skittle in a big 5lb bag you know. we're only human. We make our mistakes. And whatever you believe in, we didnt get here on our own. Some entity had us in mind for this very moment. I cant think of what to put on some mornings, let alone how this very thing we blog on, the internet, could ever been created- better yet what id do without it! So check ya self, we weren't meant to be perfect.. check this we wouldnt bleed or get hurt.So mistakes, fall backs, all that shit happens. Just enrich yourself. And remind yourself, just like you pay bills and catch that booty call. The drugs crimes, ways, and vices people succumb to on a daily basis. When we enrich our spirits it starts to be harder to accept that garbage because we're feeding ourselves good shit ya dig. Im really not being religious- dont believe me pick up a Russell Simmons book or a yoga book, same shit.I always used to wonder how just some people with so much in life- no matter what it is, money& things,(or more close to home) family and love, be so miserable. Its what you feed yourself. A gossiper is full of shit, like literally you know. cause all she/he know is other people BS so thats all that flow through them- you can see em coming a mile away.True gossipers live off it, yall be seeing them thirsting for shit, cuzz they cant function or be content or happy without it. Enrich your spirit brotha. Enrich your spirit luv. This enriched me -Q.

May 23, 2009

Watching damn TMZ...

Yep. 4:58 and cant sleep. Dont know what the fuck it is but I said hey, might as well write about it. I was playing wit my homeboy earlier about Lebron beating the Magic (after losing a 23 point lead to go under by 2 points with 1 second left- then dropping a game winning 3pointer within a second) was gonna keep me up all night. Havent thought about it after all the shit talking was over but apparently im still up. No satelitse in my room so we've continued on to the nuwave oven infomercial. smh. in about 5 hours going shopping for my sunday and Memorial Day BBQ. Im doing all the cookin. Been cooking alot lately now i think about it. Gonna season the meat in the early afternoon so that flavor can maranade. I get excited thinking about food, cookin. Its a love thing I guess; my moms put love in to everything she ever served me so i take the same time and care... check the menu: BBQ chicken,BBQ ribs, Jerk chicken (-Q me top man dem, respect!), Elgin (TX) sausage, Grilled pork chops lamb chops(supathik), hot dogs and hamburgers,grilled jalepenos and yellow bell peppers, homade, macaroni and cheese, potato salad, macaroni/tuna salad, baked beans and green beans, and watermelon. Seagrams, Henny, and Bud Lime..
Now that makes me sleepy thinking bout that. Im gonna do most of the cooking Sunday, then a lil on Monday on the holiday. My Grandma's bday, Rest her soul was Tuesday the 19th and this is usually her holiday/b-day party. Some say she's not here but she's right here with me- thats why, even though im away from the fam, me and her wit the folks im wit are slammin down this weekend. People love ya kinship while they here man. you only get one and they were placed in this earth for you...And when their gone, thats it. Love is free. Give it. It has a funny way with interest. If I dont get back yall have a good holiday- strap up and try not to drink and drive(or watch TMZ). Ayo -Q.

May 22, 2009

Respect Deez O's

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Gotta thank the top gyal dem Eb the Celeb for the vid. Showin' luv always has its rewards. I got blessed with the laugh of the day. This shit had me going. If you didnt catch it that was Charles Hamilton, up and coming rapper, with the jabber jaw apparently. Seems to me that his daddy mack Jet (or GQ) magazine vibe/swag lol isnt up to par. I guess its back to Eskimo tube and lube for you bro lol.. Had to share. And um er ah, for the sensitive soul.. (officially speaking)that wasnt a pun on 'respect these ho's', it was referring to the "O" face you likely put upon watchin this Bitch azz nucca get jawed in da street by one of these wags. Act like ya know me -Q.

May 21, 2009

For The Record...

Fuck Lebron James.

Cant stand him. He's a great guy and all that a role model should be for the kids. But In sports you gotta hate somebody. I was (and still am) and avid Knicks fan; so back in the gap you know I had to hate on Jordan! It was only right. I think the only guy showin' him love publicly (outside a NBA matchup) was Spike Lee. Like the Mavs of old,the Bad Boy Pistons and Gangsta Grill Reggie Miller and his Pacers, MJ was ravaging through us-especially in the playoffs..
The Knicks haven't been a contender in several years so many of us dont necessarily talk about them much because as far as competition goes their still not realistically in the conversation. Lebron-*uggh*, The King as some call him. Just wasnt the fit. On the court he is a beast. But he's an oversized 2 gaurd when you think about it and his game isnt smooth. Efficient is an understatement, but not smooth.. When his draft class came out, I he got so much attention, regarding him as the 2nd and a half (by way of Kobe) coming. There was prime quality out of that draft like Dwayne Wade and My man Melo- who stepped up like a man to Kobe the other night. The same guy who got jipped out of the prime time roll in the last Olympics after he out played all of his all-star teammates ala Bosh,James,Howard, CP3, and Kobe- who said he was the best player on the team and then later one those games' MVP honors. I know you sense it, I am a Carmel guy. Underachiever, sometimes it seems so, i just think his maturity curve is a little slighter than his peers. But the goal and the disappointment take a toll and the vision comes with time, which i think is dawning upon him. For Lebron I believe this is one of his shining moments. I am happy for him because he is attackin his goals, as black men need to sought out to do - aggressivly. But its sports and you gotta not like somebody. And it is Bias, and it is unfair, but fuck it lol. For the record, FUCK LEBRON -Hatin' Ass Q.

Oh, Lebron James in New York Knicks uniform- blood brothers. Im out!

May 20, 2009

Lifes simple pleasures- one of them


Peace. Fluidity. A steady flow.. Of ease... Theres nothing fluid in my life.And there hasnt been for some time. The funny thing about that is Its a surprising kind of feeling everytime the realization comes up upon me. I think thats why life has been so stressful as late. My natural Libra balance is off. Im consistently finding ways to get that tranquility back. My creative and effective zone is found when I'm at peace. Some people work there best in crunch time. I never fold under pressure but its not my element like it is to most go-getters. Helping others find peace is my thing which is the most ironic aspect of it. When I think of it, my life is one of irony.Im usually able to fufill what some say is my calling while keeping my own affairs in order. I dont think im overwhelmed with others but amongst that and life itsself, I have lost touch with me. Consequently im lost in my own life's issues- and im so extremely dissapointed(in that). Maybe i need to switch focus. No wait, there's no maybe to it. I want my river to flow. I pray for that- a flow.. A flow of peace; a flow of productivity; a flow of release...For me, all those things bring movement but at the same time it is tranquil.. That movement, that flow is, of ease.. And for me I yearn for it and God answers all prayers. So I guess now im walking right into my blessing.

May 12, 2009


For all of the warmest words in the world. For whether be it right or wrong. My door has been shut... It hurts, but its understandable. We take a deep one, then... damn. -Q.

we breathe again..