I got a mothafuckin ticket. Aint that a bitch! Speeding ticket at that! Man happened last week but shit its starting to get on my damn nerves right about now. I been driving bout ten years now and I’ve never got a traffic citation in my damn life. Now I HAVE been pulled over for no insurance and back in the gap( way, way back) for driving without a license; but never for running lights, speeding, and shit like that. I think of myself as a pretty good driver. I drive fast but not a speed demon. Im not over aggressive on the road nor do I drive Ms Daisy. I give people their space- a lot of mothafuckas cant seem to learn that one then be mad they smashed in to somebody tail end and shit- get ova yaself! But you know, ‘It had to be me’.. That’s what I thought. Now I just got finished paying off some tickets that turned into warrants for driving without insurance from some time back when. JUST GOT FINISHED.
Now Im a midst several commitments that got my money tied up plus some other pertinent responsibilities.. Because I had two tickets that went into warrants I got that damn SR-22 shit slapped on my license. Didn’t pay that off yet. (so if you putting it together Im driving with a suspended liscence- yea I kno) . Now I’m heading into work, right after rush hour right.. Im on the new toll road on the outskirts of town. You can do 70 on that hoe and because its privately owned local police aren’t allowed to speed trap and do general pull overs; Only State Troopers & Sheriffs for obscene driving… Following? Ok.. Now the toll turn into the white people highway (rich side of town-very nice cars, cops are no where).. Im not half a mile from where the toll road ends; not half a damn mile now(granted I was doing 80 and I honestly wasn’t paying attention to my speed). Now my exit is right after toll road turns into the highway and I have to get over from the left side to the right. So Im checking my mirrors and in my rear view (to my surprise) I see a sheriff’s car. Its cool, insurance on the whip, tags and everything cool – so what im driving with a suspended license – been doing it for a good while now. Instinctively, I first look at my speed- shit im doing 80. No worries; I let up off the gas. Im now wondering how long this bastard was behind me. Then I realized that I kinda cruised pass this brown car that I saw out the corner of my eye (Sherriff brown im now assuming- like who drives brown cars, Matlock and Columbo is dead, I think).
Ok, so im now signaling right crossing 2 lanes (4 lane hwy) to exit. This nigga is following me.. I got the “aint this some bullshit lips on my face” right about now- swag still wavy. Mind you im only three blocks away from where I need to be. I hit da left, this nigga hit the left. I get through the light- this nigga must be on my dick cuzz now he poppin cherries. Im pulled over at da Wendys. Aint this a bitch. Im thinking I’m bout to go to jail- ‘awww snap!’(like the asian dude in the 3conomy commercials). Shit I never been pulled over for no infraction plus I go this SR-22 shit(making my license suspended) – I didn’t know how it works.. But check tha bullshit- I stop, take a breath, park , then I look back to see who im dealing with -the damn CONSTABLE (yea that mothafucka!) of allllllll niggas is one to pull me over. I was through. Aint this nigga supposed to serve warrants and shit?! ‘Da fuck he doing pulling me over? Does he have to go this far above and beyond his call of duty to pull my ass over? You know I had to laugh…. Anywayz bout 40 mins, another sheriff- that one on dickhead finger-on-tha-trigger patrol (more likely finger in his but patrol) -and 3 citations later- plus the black paparazzi( yea they come out for star studded criminals and petty crime shit), these niggas make me late and let me on my merry way.
Im not downing cops, because I a hell of a lot of of them get the raw deal cause of some. Personally, as a black man, here in Austin and all everywhere else, my run ins with the law have been a smooth as they can be. A lot of us need to learn to respect their jobs and there roles in the community. One cop do you wrong, don’t treat the next one like shit and not expect to get hemmed up- even sometimes when your right. Don’t kiss ass but be respectful and know that them mothafuckas is likely scared of you. Fix ya damn face, especially if you aint do nothing wrong.. A lot of the ladies say they aint got no probs with them because most practice this with run ins with the law and its professional and cordial, for the most part. Emotions run high when cops are called because of what is going on in most cases… But in this particular case Constable sir… YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP… (and that’s just one of the things that grinds my gears.) -Q
PODCAST: The Chronic...25 Years Later
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